Mark Latham did inhale and Tony Abbott didn't. But their confessions of cannabis use hardly caused a ripple. And that's probably because, like Bill Clinton before them, their experiment took place in a distant past, student days or youth, and seemed a passing thing.

But for many people who came of age around the smell of marijuana smoke in the 1970s and '80s, the occasional joint is still part of their lives. Years after the battle about drugs with their parents, they face the disapproval of another generation - their children.

For Georgie, 52, a music teacher and mother of a 12-year-old girl, the recreational joint is smoked with friends in the garden. But Georgie always faces the back door, as if on the lookout for an assassin. She holds the joint close to the ground: "I drop it the moment she walks out. I am too clever to be caught," she says. "My daughter is totally moralistic about any cigarettes."

Though Georgie loved smoking pot throughout the '80s, thought it enhanced her creativity and was less harmful than alcohol, she is worried about her daughter taking any drugs.

"I won't like it if she takes up smoking pot," she says. "Now there's a contradiction ... I can't believe I'm saying it."

For Helen, 42, a public relations officer and mother of sons aged 13 and 10, marijuana is saved for special occasions - two or three times a year behind closed bedroom doors with a towel stuffed under the crack.

"It's something I've done for 20 years and it's not like I'm ever going to put a needle up my arm," she says.

But the message she gives her boys is that all drugs are bad and her biggest fear is that they will experiment. "It's a different culture now; it's a lolly shop out there," she says. "They could go to the street corner and get anything."

Drug use was thought to peter out once people reached their late 20s. But Paul Dillon, information manager at the National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre at the University of NSW, says for some cannabis use has extended into their 40s and 50s.

In most cases these are not wasted people; they are parents with successful careers and busy social lives, who at times sneak into the laundry for a joint.

"There is a great deal of conflict among these users," he says. "They have to sort out how they will talk about it with their children - or even their grandchildren."

The 2001 National Drug Strategy Household survey showed almost 40 per cent of people aged 40 to 49 have tried marijuana - and almost 9 per cent had used it recently. Given that some people are reluctant to admit to an ongoing illegal activity, the estimate is probably low.

Michael Robinson, executive director of DrugFree Australia, condemns these parents as hypocrites. "If you're going to tell your children to obey the law, parents should also obey the law," he says. As well, long-term users put themselves at greater risk of mental illness, depression, lung disease and heart attacks. He also believes children aren't as naive as parents think and probably suspect their drug use.

Robert, 54, a teacher, with "not the slightest interest in cars", always goes out to the garage to discuss cars when certain mates come around. His two children, aged 12 and 9, once caught a whiff of what they thought was fish and chips and got upset they'd missed out.

Stephen, 52, an accountant, learnt that honesty was not necessarily the best policy when his 10-year-old son popped the question around the campfire. Stephen gave the Latham-Abbott response of "once, long ago in my youth". His son used it against him for months: "I was a drug-taker, I was a law-breaker, I'd given in to peer pressure," Stephen says.

Drugs education in primary school, effective at least temporarily in turning children into anti-drug zealots, compounds parents' guilt.

According to Dillon, many parents try to rationalise their stance by exaggerating the dangers of hydroponic marijuana compared to the home-grown variety the older generation favours. "The reality is hydroponic marijuana is only slightly stronger," he says. "And it's not as strong as the hash and hash oil some of the parents would have smoked."

A better approach for parents is to try to prevent early marijuana use by their children, a pattern associated with long-term problems, says Dillon. While most parents probably didn't experiment until they left high school, 10 per cent of young people today have tried cannabis by year 7.

As well, the possible dangers of marijuana should not be ignored. "Just because parents have used it for 12 years or 20 years without it triggering a psychotic episode, doesn't mean it can't happen," Dillon says.

Marcus, 62, a retired psychologist and grandfather of two, says parents like him were more open about their dope-smoking in the '70s and '80s than parents today. "You shouldn't hide anything from kids." He believes his openness has paid off because he has "lovely kids who are very close to us".

Gino Vumbaca, chief executive of the Australian National Council on Drugs, says while not everyone who smokes cannabis has a drug problem, he has known people in their 40s who still smoke five cones a day.

"They're depressed about their lives," he says. "Looking back they've spent 20 years getting stoned and most are estranged from their children."

It was the combination of guilt and health problems that prompted Michael, 45, graphic artist and father of sons aged 15 and 12, to call it a day.

"I remember being stoned and looking into the all-knowing eyes of my baby son," he says. "It was like the eyes of God looking back, asking, 'What have you been up to?' I had to look away."

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